We apologize for the delay in updating you … and we will get to that shortly. But first, we want to say a very heartfelt THANK YOU to all of you for your support, love, and prayers. Your cards, emails, flowers, etc. have been an enormous source of encouragement and comfort to us. This has been such a devastating and heartbreaking time as we grieve the loss of Jacob. Jacob's death was such a shock to Brad and I, and even to the medical community in the ICN. He had a number of hurdles in his life, but he always recovered pretty quickly and wasn't "sickly." The deadly infection that so quickly killed his bowels and abruptly took his life was something that he shouldn't have been at risk for at such an "old" age (7 weeks) and bigger size (5 lbs). No one here could believe it. We desperately miss our son! While we are so grateful to have Sawyer, he is also a reminder of who is missing. We wanted both! We feel a hollow emptiness and void in our lives and know that, while the intense pain of the loss will subside, the void Jacob left will always be here. So thank you for joining us on this journey and knowing and loving our boys even from afar!
Regier family photo on February 28, 2009
(Jacob in white and Sawyer in blue)
Sawyer is doing great! He is thriving at around 6 lb, 6 oz and is known in the ICN for his chubby cheeks. In fact, most have forgotten that he is a 27.5 weeker! Shortly after Jacob’s death, he began breastfeeding exclusively. He quickly took to it – and not only was it a wonderful feat but it was also one of the steps necessary to come home. His final step is being apnea (forgetting to breathe)-free for 7 consecutive days. Last week, we thought he’d be coming home on Wed. but on day 6 of 7, he had an apnea event and the clock was restarted. Yesterday we again were saying our goodbyes and, in the morning of day 7 of 7, the little bugger again had an apnea event and the clock was restarted. He also had his car seat test (sitting in the car seat for 90 minutes without apnea or dropping oxygen levels) and he failed for the latter reason.
Sawyer during his car seat test!
Clearly he is telling us that he isn’t ready to come home, though obviously he doesn’t know what he’s missing! I think he isn’t ready to leave his many ICN “grandmas” and “aunts” who love to cuddle with him. So, while we are ready to have him home, we want HIM to be ready to be able to come home. Until then, we continue “living” at the hospital. I mean, after about 10 weeks, what’s one or two more weeks?! We are confident that at some point we will be able to establish our new normal at home and hope that it happens before Sawyer goes to kindergarten.
Arja, Sawyer, Uncle Peter, and Uncle Jonathan
(Arja's brothers)
Never too early to start coaching Sawyer
Notice the intensity and focus!
